a souless original story story time! The Day the Aliens Come

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souless
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a souless original story story time! The Day the Aliens Come

Post by souless » Tue Jul 28, 2009 4:49 pm

ok so one day i was talking with friends and i came up with this story in my head. one day i was bored in school so i decided to start writingit out now im bored again and i would like to get some feedback on what people think of it.
I am fine with constructive critisism and want to hear what people think about it i know theres probally alot of gramatical errors in it so dont just post saying theres alot of grammer mistakes and stuff unless u want to fix them for me cause im lazy :D also i know im a tad odd and this story may sound a bit crazy but whatever it was pretty fun to make

this story is probally only about half way finished so far so enjoy

o ya and i am giving an advanced apologize for anybody who may find it offensive even though they shouldnt and are stupid for being way way way to political correct or whatever

one final note here is a link to the hypocrisy/the arrival comment i made at the end if u want to see the aliens that i was talking about u probally wont get why im referencing this until u read the story http://store.nuclearblastusa.com/images ... /15425.jpg

There once was a teenage named Avalanche. People usually just called him Lanche for short. He was an odd person to say the least. One day in the month of May he found out very disturbing news. It was the first day of the month the rainy season was just finishing up. During his free time he stared at the walls. They mocked him but he did not know why. He suspected it was jealousy since he was able to move around and go places and see things. Lucky for him he was able to beat the wall in a battle of wits. The wall was not as smart as the table which has constantly beaten Lanche. While Lanche was making a grilled cheese sandwich a magical phenomenon had happened. There was a prophecy in it that aliens would come to earth and visit in 5 days. That would be May 6th the day after cinco day Mayo. Lanche calls in his trusty hog H1N1. Damn the government for making a mockery out of my swine’s name. I named him that way before it was cool. Good old H1N1 hides in Lanches home made bomb shelter. He hides in there because of fear of persecution. It’s porkacide I tell you much worse than genocide but it is with swine. Nobody believes Lanche but he swears H1N1 can talk. Lanche is not crazy and this is all so real and true or at least that’s so he says. He shows his friend H1 the sandwich but all he can say is are you going to eat that because I’m starving. Lanche says no way this is a sign from the Swiss it must be preserved. He also says your eating as we speak how can you be starving *tisk* *tisk* *tisk*. A typical hog. But seriously if you eat the sandwich we will be having ribs to night and they won’t be mine. Ha Ha Ha! *then gives an evil glare* Lanche thought that it would be cool to have aliens come visit. Lanche hoped they wouldn’t be a little bitch like E.T. but then the omelet he was making told him to beware them and warn everybody. That message wasn’t as exciting so he decided to feed it to H1N1 who was most pleased. During the next few days Lanche and H1N1 were getting prepared to fight for there lives. They loaded up on assault rifles pistols, sawed off shotguns and all the ammo they could get. They also found a workable gun for H1N1. They got bullet proof vests and created tin foil helmets. Lanche said to H1 “what do you want your helmet to look like. H1N1 said “I’m feeling like a three cornered hat type of the week. Lanche said “very well a three cornered hat it is and for me I’m going to go with the Indiana Jones shaped tin foil hat. On May 3rd Lanche rode through the town on his trusty stead of a hog and shouted from the top of his lungs the British are coming the British. O wait NEVER MIND THE ALIENS ARE COMING. THE SANDWICH TOLD ME SO!! As he shouted this out through the town people were wondering what the hell is wrong with him. Nobody would listen and nobody did anything they all just thought he was the village idiot. They did get serious when his hog and his busted through the doors of south stars black grizzly bear high school. As soon as they went through the halls a dean Mr. Smith called the 5-0, Fuzz, police whatever you want to call them. They tazered him and his stead H1N1. They decided it was the best to put him and the hog in an insane asylum since he was ranting about marshins and talking sandwiches. At least were together H1 Lanche says to him. H1 says “this sucks they put me in a straight jacket to. It’s my body and I don’t even know how it works that I’m tied up.” Look on the bright side Lanche says at least when the aliens come we still have our foil helmets on. Half a day passed and the doctor claimed that Lanche had severe schizophrenia. That’s why he thinks his hog talks to him. Although doctor Frankenstein thinks its aerie how it almost looked like the pig mouthed the words censored you to the good doctor. Dr. Frankenstein also diagnosed the pig with ADHD and has shown signs of massive paranoia. They were sentenced to 8 years in the insane asylum interestingly named Bacon Paradise. The judge was none other than infamous Judge Sherman Williams. The last words of Lanche to judge Sherman Williams was “not even the Mounties will be saved.” As the bailiff dragged him out of court.
It was the day of reckoning it was a Wednesday afternoon it seemed odd that the electrocution therapy was so short only 20 minutes long instead of a brisk hour and a half one. Dr. Franken stein ran in and entrapped Lanche and H1N1 screaming “you were right the aliens are in Washington it’s only a matter of time before they come here.” Lanche replied see I told you the sandwich never lies especially one as holy as a grilled cheese. Now fetch me my bloody foil helmet Lanche shouted! “Don’t forget my large friends as well and points to the pg. Lanche says while Dr. Frankenstein is getting the helmets “seriously how the hell did you get so censored fat H1N1 when all they served you was oatmeal. H1 says “hey I’m a hog I’m aloud to eat twice my body weight of oatmeal. Now that they had their hats Dr. Frankenstein showed them were they put all their guns in the vault. Lanche says now we wait for them to come its pay back time for all that shock therapy.
Meanwhile in Washington the aliens touch down. As the ruler came out of the ship there was a bright light as with all alien interactions. The president could barely make out the shape until he was all the way out of the bay door. Once the lord of the Zalco’s got out all they saw was a platypus. The humans laughed and laughed. Little did they know this slightly larger than most platypuses was PURE EVIL! Who goes by the name of Lord Plato. Plato is not pleased with the humans mockery and sets his minions out to do there job which is suck out peoples brains through their feet. They will use these brains to feed Plato and help create total chaos. These aliens from Zalco are basically your average aliens. They have an average height of 6’8 and look extremely similar if not exactly like the aliens on hypocrisy’s album The Arrival.

to be continued! dun dun dun

(this has been a dopey/souless production)
o ya if i find this story in stores anywhere i will find you and... *insert excrutiatingly painful thought in here*
The bible was misinterperated its the monotones shall inherit the earth not the meek

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